Category: Holidays

A Nomad Thanksgiving

What is Thanksgiving really about?

Well, it is another Nomad Thanksgiving day for me. And while my American brothers and sisters are busy being grateful for Butterballs, the NFL, and $100 Sony TVs on Black Friday, I sit here, alone in the forest, and contemplate gratitude. Do I have a right to feel grateful for having this gorgeous forest camp all to myself? For the sky and the trees and the crunchy autumn leaves?

My mind returns to the remembrance of a tweet from a man of the Cherokee Nation after “Nomadland” came out. “Nomadland is literally a film that wistfully celebrates how white people have ability to become ‘free’ in land evacuated of Indigenous peoples.” he wrote.

My immediate gut reaction was to deny his interpretation. Yet, months after reading this tweet, it has stuck with me. Is it true?

Yeah, it kind of is…

Today, I will give in to that truth.

Today, I acknowledge how privileged I am to live life the way I do; to walk once-sacred grounds, to be one with the trees, the birds, the sky, to feel as though I have a right to this public land, and this life that was stripped away from others.

Original Nomad Life

Nomading is not new. First Nation people have been nomads for tens of thousands of years. The Arapaho, Blackfoot, Cheyenne, and other Plains tribes followed the Buffalo and lived in Tipis. We tend to forget this fact and instead, self-righteously believe we are the pioneers of modern-day America. Boldly shunning a world we do not fit in, do not want, and did not ask for. Sure, in that way we have much in common with the Indigenous Peoples.

But in reality, we could not be more different. Colonialism, war, assimilation, broken treaties, and time have made me the de-facto beneficiary of something lost–no, that’s too easy–something stolen.

So what is Thanksgiving supposed to mean for non-native Americans then? I really don’t know. But I can not just celebrate the day without recognizing this truth.

Let today be a day of honor.

Today, I will make new traditions that will honor and embrace the people, the culture, and the way of life that was vanquished; all but erased from our culture.

Today, I will walk in the woods and let my feet carry my mind to a world that could have been. An old world that is pure, meaningful, and buried too deep beneath the mores of productivity, progress, and profit of today’s world.

Today, I will meditate (oh who am I kidding, I’ll sit in the pine needles and try to pretend I don’t hear the freeway a couple miles away). I’ll watch the trees sway in the wind, shedding their fall sweaters. I’ll watch Sadie sniff out every log and branch and trapper’s hole in the ground. I’ll listen to the birds and breathe in the cool crisp morning air.

Let today be humbling.

Today, I will give thanks to the people, the culture, the way of life that was lost so that I could have the life I do.  

Today I will be thankful to our mother Earth, the provider of all life.   

Today, I will prepare my camp for rain and wonder what it would have been like living in a tipi during the rain. 

I will make a meal and imagine the same ingredients: sweet potato, corn, and onions picked from a garden or field from the tribal camp.

I will contemplate my fortune and my privilege, paying homage to the brave warriors(Dahnawa Danatlihi in Cherokee), mothers(Okasu in Algonquian), and children(wah-ky-yeh-ja in Lakota- literally meaning “sacred gift”) who should be here, celebrating this glorious day alongside me. 

RV Life Thanksgiving scene

Gratitude: RV Living Style!

Tis the season to take stock of our lives and count the many things we have to be grateful for. It seems to be a practice that melts into our collective psyche, because without consciously thinking about it, a powerful and soothing feeling of gratitude has permeated my very soul this week.

I’m more contented and at peace  than I can ever remember being.

Maybe that’s because I’m coming out of the some of the most challenging weeks of my RV Life and being back in my RV, free to wander wherever the road – and my mood takes me – is like finally being free of a nagging headache.

Maybe it’s because. seven months into RV Living, I’m finally starting to grasp my freedom: it doesn’t happen overnight.  My therapist compared it to the slaves being set free; if you’re born in shackles and then suddenly set free, your freedom can be overwhelming and you can become paralyzed by the magnitude of your emancipation.

While I am, in no way,  comparing my life in society to the horrors of slavery, there is some truth in that statement.  In a world that indoctrinates and propagandizes us from birth, Freedom is something we must learn.  When you spend your entire life thinking of yourself, your life and your world a certain way – breaking the physical shackles is just the beginning; freeing your mind is a longer process.

Happy Thanksgiving from Carolyn and Capone!
Happy Thanksgiving from Carolyn and Capone!

Finding my freedom has been a lifelong process. First I had to stop denying the American Horror Story I was born into (I wrote a little bit about it in my John Muir Trail Blog, you can read it here). Then I had to get free of the addiction and alcoholism that were, for years, my crutches. Then I had to face my deepest horrors and stop trying to run from my ugly truths – and myself.  And then, finally, I could begin to heal; and through the healing, came freedom.

My process has been about finding my authentic self; a self that I spent a lifetime running from because to deny my painful past, I had to deny her. Now at last, I have become the woman I am meant to be! I am becoming the woman, who as a child I wanted to be. I’m writing. I’m exploring. I’m traveling. I’m living my life on my terms, with no regrets and no apologies.

Today I am thankful for my process. I am thankful for having the courage and the strength to fight back against my ghosts and persevere even in my lowest and most painful moments. I am grateful that I found an amazing therapist who helped me uncover my true self.bowie-quote

I am grateful for the community I found online who opened a whole new (RV Life) world to me. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made here – some I’ve met – and some I have yet to meet.   I’m grateful for the best friend a woman can have: Capone. I’m grateful for Tilly. Sure, she can be high maintenance, but at the end of the day, when I’m tucked inside, there is no place I’d rather be!

And of course, I’m grateful for you and for all your kind words and encouragement! Thank you for following, reading, watching and subscribing. I hope to meet you out on the open road someday.

Happy Thanksgiving from My RV to Yours!~